March 24, 2007. Xbox Live Arcade Review.

Ask yourself this question. Do you like to be stepped on, spanked, insulted, and spitted on? If the answer is yes, would you like to pay this person to do it? If the answer is still yes, we at Xbox 360 Cheat think you need the help of a professional. Perhaps an orthodontist.

Getting back to Xbox Live Arcade, imagine having your very own arcade in your room, except without the space problems of fitting twenty cabinets in there and finding a place to sleep. At least that's what the Microsoft PR people said when they thought up this stinking pile of bullshit we at Xbox 360 Cheat like to call Xbox Live Arcade.

But you say. What's wrong with that? I always wanted my own arcade. And now thanks to Microsoft, I got it! Uh-huh. If you want the arcade feeling, step over to this site. If you want awful copycats, keep reading.

The Xbox Live games available are varied. You'll find one that you at least can play for an hour. You got girly puzzle games like the one of the right called Hexic. And they even added the HD so you know it's in High Definition. This would be fun for girls if it featured the cute characters you see in Puzzle Bobble instead of the souless metalic interface you see here. The good news is that Bejeweled 2 is another puzzle game that has nice backdrops.

The grand jewel of Xbox Live Arcade right now is Geometry Wars. A real addictive shooter with very colorful graphics presented in HD. It's also a part of Project Gotham Racing 3. But if you didn't buy that game, you can buy Geometry Wars off of arcade. It's got that nice shooter sound that brings me back to the 80s. Sadly, the 80s machines weren't in high def, but they looked better than this game. And they played a hell of alot better too.

Xbox Live Arcade even has old classics like joust. They've signed a deal to get Streetfighter 2, Hyperfighting edition up on arcade. Talk about great. Streetfighter 2, Hyperfreakingfighting! Here's our guess of what that would be like. Notice Ken throwing a fireball. He does that alot.

But getting back to Xbox Live Arcade, it's just a real disappointment. Kinda like opening a birthday present and finding a big piece of turd. What's even more disgusting is the awful Microsoft marketing that makes you pay for these games using points. Probably because if they put up the games in terms of dollars, there would be rioting. If you want the arcade experience on a console, we recommend just waiting for a classic collection to be released by Midway or Capcom. Don't pay for games that wouldn't make it to the arcade if they were released 10 or 15 years ago.